Happy Fictional Friday the 13th!!! (See what I did there 😬)
Now to the real nightmare— today on Snapchat, I asked for the people to give me the weirdest thing to write a haiku on.
Here’s what they inspired. (I blame it all on them!!!)—
It has overflowed,
Water splashes on the ground.
That was one big dump.
Here’s a block of cheese.
It’s been expired for weeks.
I now have the runs.
(Hey don’t blame me!!! They’re the ones with the poop humor!!! 💩💩💩 Also. She meant to say cream cheese but darn that “auto correct”. Teehee.)
They might be magical,
And smell like cotton candy-
Still, it’s pretty gross.
The Dilemma of Not Having Cream Cheese for Your Bagel
I can’t find the spread,
And this bagel smells like feet.
Breakfast is ruined.
(Could also possibly end just like the ones before it…)
An Obese, Hairy Lady Wants To Be Miss Universe
This fat chick has dreams,
But then her beard tripped her up.
Better luck next year.
Take them once a day.
That is really all I have.
A Tribute to Dwight Shrute
Beets. Bears. Mustard Shirt.
Question. Idiot. MICHAEL!
Fact: haikus are lame.
Congrats for making it this far! As always, thank you for reading and we (just me, I don’t have an alter ego that controls my dark side….) hope to see you back here next week! Here’s a bonus haiku, just for those of you special ones who made it this far—
Final Thoughts from Dwight K Shrute
Ciara Jude’s great!
False. No one likes your haikus.
You suck. Idiot.